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when it comes to funk he is a junky
2004-05-12, 7:33 p.m.

Last week my 8 year-old godson went bike-riding and took a spill and got TRAPPED in his bike. It took something like 4 firefighters (and apparently about 5 on-lookers from the neighborhood) like 3 hours to get him free. They were almost going to have to call in the "Extraction Team." But finally someone jimmied the crowbar just right. But he wasn't hurt one bit. My friend Bella (his mother) said his worst injury was a slight sunburn from lying around while everyone tried to figure out how to get him free. Why does the fire department always send too many trucks with their sirens blaring even when they've been told it's not an emergency?

So last week I went to see Prince. Ooh-we-sha-sha-coo-coo-yeah. Did you know every ticket holder gets a free copy his new CD? And: so far, it rocks. Especially the single "Musicology." I was worried it wouldn't. Me, of little faith. I learned at that show (from observing audience members) that there's a new fashion trend I've missed somehow: wearing layers of negligees instead of a shirt over jeans. I also learned that Prince didn't eliminate as many songs from his repertoire when he became a Jehovah's Witness as I was afraid he would. Oh, he didn't perform "Sexy Motherfucker" or "Darling Nikki" - but he did "Jack U Off" and "Controversy" and "Kiss" (yay!) and "Sign-O-The-Times" (when I smelled someone near me had acted out Prince's cousin's part in that song - the September part, not the June part -as far as I know anyway) and "Dance Music Sex Romance" and sang the part about the "trojan horses" and "jockeys" from "Little Red Corvette." It's funny, I always think of the Sandra Bernhard version of that song - y'know - when I think of that song. He performed a couple of songs that other people had hits with - like "I Feel 4 U" and "Nothing Compares 2 U." The best part of the show was when he came out with just his acoustic guitar and did short versions of lots of old favorites like "Raspberry Beret." And he made the crowd go crazy when he got to the lyric from "Alphabet Street" where he sings "I'm gonna put her in the backseat/And drive her down... to TENNESSEE." Have I mentioned that one of my first albums was 1999?

Guess who's back? And I was just wondering "whatever happened to" her. And remembering her ill-fated foray into making a country record. I remember when she was in town whenever we saw a limo we'd say "that's her!" I hope that song #1 on her record entitled "No More Drama" isn't a cover of Mary J. Blige's "No More Drama." I wonder if she and her family will ever reunite? I wonder if it would be a good idea anyway. I wish her comeback were really cool - but it looks like it'll be a little Celine-Dion-esque for my tastes.

Speaking of tastes, I think I'd like a Starbucks peppermint mocha now. Yes, I know Starbucks is evil and corporate. Yes, I know it's practically summer and definitely not Christmas. As we used to say when I was growing up in New York: "Are you coming with or no?"

get back - bounce baby